Like Cinderella

I feel

like Cinderella

standing 

on the empty

ballroom floor

holding

both my slippers

and wondering 

what 

to

do

now

This was not

how the story

was 

supposed

to 

end

Pausing for Snow

I open the door

And the cat

Usually so anxious for escape

Stops

Nose in the wind

Sniffing the unfamiliar whiteness

One paw suspended

She reconsiders

 

He opens the garage

To a flurry of cold

And a gusty unexpected breath

His black shoes

Become dusted in white

He is surprised

At the deepness he sees

From here

Of drifts piled

Where the door had been

He sets down his briefcase

And fumbles

For the phone in his pocket

 

She bounces from the window

Across the room

Still in her pajamas

Collared shirt and blue slacks

Forgotten

Excitement

In every leap

She hollers

Downstairs

That the spelling test

Won’t happen

Today

 

I close the door

On chills

And shovels scraping

And squeals

About fast rides

Down steep hills

Into the empty street

 

 

 

Carefully

I make my way

Over piles

Of crumpled hats

Damp mittens

And puddles

Of melted boot tracks

To pull a blanket

Over my lap

And open my book

Almost forgotten

 

The cat is curled

Beside my feet

While the world

Pauses

For snow

 

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

I found a great translation of a quote that I love on 

http://www.austinkleon.com/

"In the eyes of those who anxiously seek perfection, a work is never truly completed- a word that for them has no sense- but abandoned." Paul Valery 

I have been editing and rewriting and editing and rewriting some more, and the more I do, the more I see that needs to be done.  Sort of like cleaning the house.  If I start scrubbing places like under the fridge and in the corners of the window wells, I find more and more dirt until I eventually realize I must either abandon all other pursuits in my life and devote my entire existence to housecleaning, or go to bed and give up on the project entirely.  I'm not ready to abandon this novel yet.  There are still things- the written equivalent of wiping off the kitchen counters- that simply must be done.  But it is truly impossible, I am convinced, for any mortal to ever "Complete" a work of fiction.  One word could always be better, one phrase more enlightening.  

sigh.

I keep writing. 

=)  

Unique Positions in the History of the World

Have you ever thought about the few-- and I think there are only a few-- people who have held completely unique positions in the history of the world? 

Consider Eve.  There is no one with whom she can sit down and say, "You know that feeling you get when people accuse you of causing the whole human race to suffer because you ate one piece of fruit?"  I mean, she could say that to me, but I would have to give her a blank stare, or at best some trite phrase, like, "I can imagine that must be really hard."  But there is no one else that has been through anything similar.  Ditto for Adam.  (Although, of course, he and Eve have had very similar experiences.  But I bet they have a lot of , "She says such and such, but I'll tell you what really happened."  What married couple doesn't?  And they had So Many years together!  Lots of stuff to get mixed up about.)

And then there is Noah.  He is only in a sort-of-unique position, since there are 7 others who can relate pretty well to his unusual experiences.  He must be really grateful for those 7 people. It could have just been one woman, pregnant with twins, who was on the ark.  That would have been a miserable experience.  Thank Heaven (literally) that that was not the case!  

And how about Mary.  Totally unique.  I think my favorite verse in all scripture is Luke 2:19-"But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart."  What else could she do?  There was no one else going through a similar experience with whom she could go to lunch and talk things through.  What a lot of silent pondering she must have done.  

And Joseph Smith.  (Some of you may not know his story, but he belongs on the list nonetheless.)  To be, for a very long time, the only one living to have seen the plates, must have felt like Atlas.  He could tell people, and others were being persecuted for believing him, but his position was still unique.  What a relief it must have been- the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders- when he was told he could finally show the plates to others.  

And of course, the Savior, Jesus Christ.  While I can, in some degree, imagine what it must be like to be the others, I can not even begin to imagine what it would be like to be the Savior of the world.  But the fact that it is a unique position is true by definition.  And all the others, from Eve (and Adam) to the end of the world, who have held- or feel like they have held- unique positions, do have at least One person who can relate to them- because when Jesus was suffering for us, and performing the atonement, He had to experience everything-- every single emotion and feeling-- that anyone on earth had ever, or would ever, feel.  So he felt what it was like to be Eve, accused of bringing the whole human race out of Eden. And he felt what it was like to be Noah letting people die while he climbed onto the ark, and Mary, and Joseph, and me.  Not that I belong in that list.  But he still felt everything I've felt.  "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."  He knows exactly what it felt like to be the mother of young children, home all day, with no other adults to talk to, because he felt it.  Or a homeschooling mom.  Or a college student with a late assignment.  

I just wonder sometimes, who else there will be in this world with unique positions.  I really do.

Brief Notes from the Sunday Morning Session of General Conference

My notes are brief, and I've left out most of the stories (and all of the songs) because I have a hard time listening and taking notes at the same time. But this will gave you a small taste.  You can find the whole broadcast, or just one talk at a time, on www.lds.org.

Elder Eyring-

Love one another. 

Sorrow comes from selfishness, which is the absence of love

Choices we can make to assure no empty chairs for our family in heaven:

         -Husbands and wives: Pray for love to see the good in your companion, to make weaknesses appear small, to want to lessen their load and make the sorrows smaller.

          -Parents: Pray for your children, love them, have confidence that Jesus reaches for them with you;

          -To children: (all children, young and old) honor thy father and thy mother… your quality of life will be improved if you remember your parents and love them.

           -Parents: Ask children for pardon when you make a mistake.

"And great shall be the peace of thy children.  And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord."  

Look for opportunities to love, and you will feel the peace, assurance of a child.

L. Tom Perry

Swedish ship builders in the 1800's built the roof for the Manti Temple in Utah.  They did not know how to build a building's roof, so they decided to build a ship, and then turn it upside down.  The top of a building needs to be waterproof, like the bottom of a ship.  It needs to be well- constructed.  So that is what they did!

They desired to share what they knew to help build the kingdom of God.  We can do the same!

H. David Burton

When I was 12 there were several requirements for graduation from Primary, including memorizing and reciting all 13 Articles of Faith in order.  The first 12 were easy!  The 13th is very long and I could not say it without help and prompting.    

Many virtues end in -ity.  Charity, Civility, Integrity, Fidelity, Humility, Generosity, Morality, etc.  I call these the "ity" virtues, and many of them are missing from our society today.

We need not be a part of the virtue malaise that is plaguing our society. Teaching virtuous traits begins in the home, and is taught by example.  

15 yo grandson is an avid skier.  He would be allowed to compete if his grades were high enough.  He worked and worked, but in the end, fell just short of the goal.  He was not allowed to compete, and lost the opportunity to compete for a place in the junior olympics.  But he learned a valuable lesson in integrity.    

Lost Battalion of WWI, Lost Boys of Peter Pan, The Forgotten Carols... Do not let the "ity" virtues become the lost virtues.  Now is the time for us to rescue those virtues that are virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy. 

Ann M. Dibb

Several workers had been painting a bridge for about a year.  Toward the end of their job, they fell to their deaths.  People asked why they had not safety equipment.  The answer: They did.  But they did not choose to wear it.

We may also be in challenging circumstances.  The dangers we live with today, including society's tolerance on sin.  This is just as dangerous as falling from a 125 ft high bridge to our deaths.  

In the scriptures there are very few (any?) of people living in blissful happiness without challenges.  But our Heavenly Father has confidence in you!  He will convert your supposed inadequacies into strengths.  He has given us all the safety equipment we need to return to him.  Scriptures, prayer, the Holy Ghost.  It may seem cumbersome and unfashionable.  But I for one choose to use it!

In the Book of Mormon we learn about another safety device: the iron rod, running along the straight and narrow path.  The iron rod is the Word of God.  I invite you to read it again.  Hold on tight to the iron rod-- get a grip!  When we let go, we easily got lost in the mists of darkness.  If this happens, we can find our way back through repentance.  

Use the safety equipment Heavenly Father has provided for you. They are, literally, everything. 

Elder Russell M. Nelson

My wife, Wendy, and I were overseas and received news almost instantly that we had a new grandchild born on the other side of the world!  Prayer is available to all of us with no equipment necessary, no monthly service fee!

To access info from Heaven, we must ask with Real Intent.  Which means we must really intend to follow the divine direction given.

We must Study it out in our own minds, and then ask God.  If it is right, we will feel that it is right.  We will know it inside ourselves.

God has a long pattern of teaching people through prophets.  If we follow God's prophets, we will be blessed.  

The natural man is an enemy to God, and will be forever and ever unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit.

Personal revelation can be honed to become the gift of spiritual discernment.  With this gift we can see things not visible- recognizing the needs of those around us, trends in the earth that will damage our spirits.

How can we have this gift?  Develop Faith, Hope Charity and Love.  Ask and you will receive.  Knock and it will be opened unto you.  Revelation need not come all at once.  Line upon line, precept upon precept.  To him that recieveth will the Lord reveal more.

Revelation exists because God lives.  This is His Living church.  Thomas S. Monson is His living prophet.

President Thomas S. Monson

Told of a man from southern VA whose father was a minister and who asked his children every night at the dinner table, "What did you do today for someone else?"  This man went on to develop medical clinics all over the world where doctors volunteer their time to serve the poor.

Man's greatest happiness comes from loosing ourselves in the service of others.

I am confident it is each member's intention to serve those in need.  How often have you intended to be the one to help, but daily life interferes, and we leave it to someone else.  Have we lost ourselves in things that do not really matter at all, neglecting the more important causes?

I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight...

... but I never have yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind. 

For my birthday I asked members of the church to perform acts of service.  (several good stories) For I was an hungered and ye gave me meat... naked and ye clothed me... sick and ye visited me... Lord, when saw we thee hungry or naked, or sick?  Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me. 

Ask yourself, What have I done for someone today?  (The words of the hymn Have I Done any Good in the World Today?)  We have all been called to the service of the Lord Jesus Christ.  He says, Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  May we qualify for that blessing. 

The closing hymn: Have I Done Any Good in the World Today? by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. =) 

Looking Forward

It's fall and I'm getting ready for the onslaught of holidays.  ... thinking of Christmas presents... wondering what to do about Thanksgiving... thinking I should call around and find a place for a bon fire on Halloween... and wondering where I can get all natural candy corn!

I have found wonderful, amazingly tasty, incredibly delicious, all-natural candies at the Natural Candy Store.  They have a huge selection and everything we have ordered from them has been candy to die for.  Homemade-style root beer barrels, nougat sweetened with honey, real fruit flavored gummy bears, even rose flavored hard candies!  But-- no candy corn.  I think it's about as artificial as "food" can get.  Which actually doesn't bother me personally.  I don't like candy corn.  But my kids- especially Rachel- do, and it would be nice to find some.

Ok, Bethany needs the computer to work on her Physical Science.  So I'd better get off.

Rebecca  =)

(If you find any all-natural candy corn-- call me immediately!) 

odds and ends

There is a kitty asleep on the foot of my bed.  I know she's not supposed to be there, but she is so cute and little and asleep, that I am pretending I don't notice her.  (Mike, I am sorry.  But you are out of town, and I will wash the covers before you get back.)

I spent the afternoon at the pool with Naomi and I'm a bit burnt.  And sore.  Emily- I thought of you.  Those laps were killers!  I did two, stood up, and thought... "I'm about to faint.  They'll have to fish me off the bottom of the pool."  I made it to the edge very slowly, not in a straight line, and rested at the ladder for a few minutes before climbing out.  After that I only did one lap at a time, and rested between them.  I'm pretty sure my cardio-vascular system would benefit from my doing that a little more often!  

We have had the windows all open and the AC turned off for a couple of days now.  The weather is scrumptious.  We should have days like this all the time.  Warm sun, cool breezes, low humidity... aahhh... 

I've been able to write a bit with Mike, Bethany and Peter gone, and Josh working.  Jacob's Peak is getting plunged in the water, scrubbed, stretched and blocked.  What will be different?  I hope you'll find more accurate fight scenes, more realistic emotions, a longer passage over the mountains with more time for romance-- and fighting, more training for espionage and covert operations, more character development for Varik,  and a stronger, more pro-active main character.  Not to mention, an all-around better-written, edge of your seat, cry and laugh-out-loud novel.  That's the plan, anyway.   

At the moment, my eyes are burning almost as much as my sunburn.  I should probably go to sleep.  Sadie- I am reading a book that reminds me of you!  It's called Viola in Reel Life.  You should read it.  But not till the semester is over.

Good Night!

=)