As you may or may not know, my two youngest are adopted from Ukraine, and we have struggled as a family with the severe emotional disabilities Naomi has faced-- through no fault of her own-- because of her early life situation. She has made Amazing, Miraculous progress in ways that professionals told us was not possible. But I'm not a perfect mom, (is anyone?) and lately I've been feeling like I could use an injection of courage and good thoughts on our situation.
So... the book I was reading is Attaching in Adoption, by Deborah D. Gray. It's not the kind of book you recommend to your book club, any more than you would talk about suicide attempts in your preschooler with the moms' play group. But for parents of kids with attachment issues, it is a God send. Believe me.
I've read pieces of the book over the past several years, looking up information as I need it, being careful not to overwhelm myself with more info than I need. But today I read the last page of the book. Let me share it with you.
A child with malnutrition and severe abuse in her background attempted to injure me several times. As she improved, she was invited to her first-ever birthday party. She brought me a chocolate-covered peanut from the party-- carefully saved in a plastic bag. "I saved two, one for my mom and one for you. Eat it," she said. "It's good. It's got a nut inside."
She shared her hurts with me; she shared her party. When living in that moment, watching her face and her mother's, life was sweet-- and I have never savored a better nut.
I looked at Naomi doing summersaults in the pool and cried and laughed.
It's good. It's got a nut inside.
So, so true. And, like Deborah Gray, I have never savored a better nut.
Rebecca
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