Sometimes

Sometimes life is just hard.

Sometimes the other kids snub your child.  You forget important appointments.  Your doctor calls to tell you your tests are all normal so there's nothing wrong-- even though you feel like you've been trampled by elephants.  It rains-- reminding you your car tires have No tread left as you skid on wet pavement.  You come home to that flooded-basement smell.  Again.  Your son's kidney stone is making him cry.  And when you finally reach your husband by phone at 9 pm, it's on his office phone.  

All in one day!

What's a girl to do?

My current ideas:

Tell those goody-goody tweens who snubbed your daughter that their jeans look ridiculous, and you're sorry about their Really Bad hair day.

You can avoid all missed appointments if you just stop making appointments!  Who needs appointments?

Pull that doctor's diploma-- frame and all-- off the wall, and hide it under a stack of those flimsy, too-short, paper gowns while he's chatting with the nurse.  Flatly refuse to tell where it is until he figures out what the heck is causing the elephant stampede.  (This won't be during an appointment, of course.  You'll be a walk-in.)

Just quit driving.  Since you've given up appointments, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.  Order out for groceries.

Move to Texas.  They don't have basements.  (Oh, yes.  hurricanes.  Move inland.)  

And finally, call the top generals at the Pentagon and let then know, in no uncertain terms, that the whole $7 billion Congress is debating won't be enough to cover your husband's overtime, but you guess you'd be willing to let them start there.  Assuming they let your husband deliver the check to you in person.  Tonight.

And finally, schedule a Mom's Night Out.

I have now revealed my list of things to do tomorrow.  And at least one of them I'm actually going to do.

I'll let you guess which.